Thoughts Will Clinic

HB Interviews

In a quest to help people understand psychological struggles, I interview people experiencing/ have experienced different psychiatric issues and listen to their version to raise awareness.

Come join me and provide your feedback on this !

Ms. Vidya is a cool MBA graduate looking for suitable jobs. She finished her MBA in IIM Ahmedabad 2 years back.. She is a national swimmer and do good abstract paintings! 

Suddenly things went downstream, she started feeling low, not interested in a lot of things and we have her interviewed by HB

A: Everything was going well till 3 weeks back.. i was active cheerful doing my works without difficulty… Not sure how but am not feeling great these days for no reason… Am trying hard to feel ‘normal’ but I couldn’t… Off late am crying for trivial issues  am losing control of my mood.. facing mood swings… Getting upset with everyone around me  fighting with them… Getting into unpleasant arguments 

Off late people have noticed the change in me and have started questioning me 

A: Thanks! The funny part is ppl keep asking me ‘whats the problem’ multiple times but i dont have an answer to it you know

A: I mean there are asking me as why am i getting stressed when everything in my life is so good… Frankly even i don’t know the reason… I don’t think any particular issue is bothering me this much… There are small issues here and there but come on who doesn’t have.? I feel uncomfortable in explaining them everytime they come and ask me about it 

A:  Yeah I recently got to know about it.. very happy about the fact that my Psychiatrist did explain me about it and to know that ‘ my brain’ could be the reason for this was so releiving  Just the fact that someone could empathise with my problem was good to know!

A: Actually i sleep in excess… Like 8-9 hours a day  and still feel tired.. that’s the point.. i told my close ppl about this and they were like you need to have a good slepp and things will be alright bla bla but damn am sleeping for 9 full hours everyday and still feel stressed.. Earlier i sleep only for 6-7 hours but now my sleep schedules have altered.

Appetite is good too! Am eating more actually and my grandma s advice to “eat well to feel good” isn’t working either 

A:  I feel tired almost every minute of the day.. doesn’t find the initiative to do any work.. I also tried to distract myself… Painting is something which i love doing so i thought that will improve my mood and So i started doing it but i had to force myself to sit through the session… I didn’t have the usual josh at all! 

A: Yeah! Gradually after few weeks I felt I don’t deserve this struggle and started thinking as why should I still live… lying on my back on the bed I could remember myself thinking about suicide…. All of a sudden “Why should I live” questions started haunting me badly and I gasped for help….

A: Am feeling better now… it has been around a week since I was put on medications and things have slowly started to get better… I wish the improvements sustain for good. Nice talking with you too badgie! You are a good listener! I will keep you posted about my journey…

Mr. Vikram ,42 year old runs his own gym in suburbs of Chennai. He has been a recipient of Mr. Chennai and very passionate about fitness, diet and is a motivational speaker. He is perfectionist, meticulous person, sticks onto his time schedules regularly. He has 2 daughters doing their primary schooling.

Over the past few weeks gradually he started to have disturbing thoughts of harming his daughter. He goes to kitchen and when sees a knife, images of her daughter’s face flashes through…

A: As you started I cant imagine if a father can have these ‘aggressive’ thoughts against his own daughter… When I see any sharp object like sickle or gym weights the daughter’s face or thoughts keep coming immediately… cant explain the struggle I endure daily….

A: Am facing this day in and day out… I try my best to distract to avoid having these thoughts.. I try watching a movie… try reading a book… hit the gym… no matter whatever I try I end up having those ‘thoughts’… It just keeps coming on and on and at the end of the day it drains me…. Off late I have stopped skipping gym sessions for the reason I see those gym weights the dreadsome thoughts of hitting my daughter’s head with it flashes immediately…. I avoid seeing my daughter’s face.. escape spending time with them for I cant afford to see them with all these thoughts… and when the thoughts happen my heart starts to beat faster… some discomfort in my chest… and shivers down the spine….

I am a very strong person but am crying endlessly these days… I so much love my daughters… they are my life… why am I having these thoughts? What sin did I do?

A: What? OCD? Yeah I know.. they keep washing their hands… constantly check gas stoves to know if its switched off right? How is it related to my problem?

Mr. Chandru is a 36 year old software engineer who had suffered from depression. He had taken treatment for it and we would love to listen from him about his struggles…

A: Many times… I have made every attempt that have been asked by me only for everything to fail… I tried distracting myself through doing exercises, yoga.. I joined Zumba classes only to leave it midway.. whatever I tried, to come out of my depression IT JUST DIDN’T WORK!!!

A: No, this is very different from just ‘stress’, I have been stressed over my exams, stressed over my job interviews but this is quite different.

A: I was feeling hopeless about my situation, never wanted to get up from the bed and move.. feeling tired even if I did nothing in the day.. I didn’t have any stressful situation in life, but I still felt sad, depressed. So Yeah ! it’s a different feeling.

A: I have tried almost everything people asked of me to ‘come out’ of my depression and it didn’t work. So left with no choice I wanted to meet a therapist.

A: Honestly, I felt I will be prescribed with a lot of medications which might only make me feel drowsy, as I have googled about antidepressants before. But contrary to it in few weeks I felt more energetic, active and more lively…

A: No, not at all. Even I was worried that I wasn’t showing any improvement for the first 10 days and I had mailed multiple times to the therapist asking him if I will improve or not. But in few weeks time I was back to my best. Its not like having a fever, where you take paracetamol and you improve the next day. I understood I got to be patient.

A: Actually, after a bit of research about these medications, I expected different side effects to happen but to my surprise, I didn’t find one!

A: Yes initially before meeting a psychiatrist I happened to meet a psychologist which initially didn’t help but later started to help me great!

Disclaimer – This is a fictional interview with a sole intention of spreading knowledge about different psychological problems.

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